How to Make Friends in a New City

Back when I got promoted for a new job I had taken in Florida, I was immediately transferred to San Diego to manage a position down there. Although excited, I was afraid too because I was about to make a big change in not only my career but my social life as well.

Not only was I about to abandon the social circle I spent years trying to build, but I would be solely responsible for rebuilding a new network of personal support in San Diego.

Moving to a new city away from what you are used to can be terrifying for various reasons. Especially if you move to a new city alone. Not only are you dealing with the idea of moving away from your old life, but you have to deal with a new environment and new people.

As difficult as it can be to make friends in a new city, it first requires you to feel comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone. I hated the idea of starting all over because I had made many friends from school, work and shared social activities. Unlike before where those friendships were naturally formed, I would have to intentionally go out to meet people.

But something I learned from many failed attempts of making friends in a new city is that you must feel comfortable with opening new possibilities for yourself that you will thank yourself later for doing even if you are uncomfortable with doing it immediately.

If you want someone to accompany you to any of the places we mention below, FriendPC offers Companions you can hire to take you out somewhere to enjoy yourself. You also have the option of speaking to FriendPC Virtual Friends to help you with you socializing skills.

It’s important to keep in mind from your daily activities that you try to be open with people. You may be shy or suffer from anxiety, but focus on small interactions with people such as greetings and small talk (even if you hate it) so you can build a familiarity with someone and become more comfortable to talk to them later on.

Neighborhood Community Events

If you moved into a new apartment complex, they sometimes host events there or at nearby locations in the the neighborhood. There, you can interact with locals and strike up a conversation that may lead to a friendship.

Examples of neighborhood events that you should look out for are holiday parades, fairs, and farmer markets. If you are not familiar on where to find such notice for events, check out your local coffee shop flyers. They often contain information about local groups and performers coming to the area.

If possible, also look up on social media possible friends you knew from long ago who may have moved to the city as well. When I first arrived to San Diego I met a woman I knew back in Florida and we immediately hit it off when I reached out to her.

Even visiting local shops can open up new opportunities. You would be surprised by the different characters you can come across unique niche stores down the block. If you love to read, go to a local book store. If you enjoy fitness, go to a local sports goods store and ask about local events.

Creative Classes

Options such as Meetup and specialty shops in your local area are good options to meet people during your spare time. Whether you like cooking, drawing, painting or reading poetry aloud, browse at nearby creative classes you can take that will allow you to express your creativity. This makes it easier for you to interact with someone who is amazed by your work or vice versa.

Other suitable options would be recreational leagues and workout classes. While there, you can speak to someone about how often they go to these classes and if they would like to attend another class together.

Someone once recommended taking pole dancing dances. Pole studios have a community of women who will support you. It is a place where women of all backgrounds can come together and unite over that dance style.

Volunteer

Most cities you move is going to have a volunteer community that you can join. Whether it’s joining a 5K, homeless shelter or animal shelter, someone is going to need volunteer help somewhere.

Not only will this be a good way to give back to your community, but it opens the possibilities of new experiences with other people. If you are interested in any volunteer programs, we recommend checking out Volunteer Match.

Consider some of these worthy causes:

• Human rights and advocacy
• Children and youth
• Animal welfare
• Arts and culture
• Education and literacy
• Crisis support or disaster relief

Work

You spend around eight hours a day at work with the same people so if you feel comfortable with asking someone out after work to grab a meal or drink, go ahead and do so. If you don’t feel comfortable mixing work with your personal life, you can switch to the next option. But if you don’t mind, start public events you invite people from work to such as lunch, a fair or a bar after work.

We recommend that before doing that you build a genuine connection at the work place so it doesn’t make it awkward when you spend time with them after work. If you want, start off by spending time at lunch with someone to get to know them before asking them out.

Happy Hour at Bars

Bars are one of the easiest ways to make friends as an adult. Not only because liquor makes it easier to bond and make yourself vulnerable to someone, but because it becomes easier to vibe with someone due to feeling less anxious. If you live by any bars or venues that offer happy hour, you will be bound to meet an interesting face there.

For people who struggle with social anxiety or shyness, start off by sitting next to someone at a bar and don’t say anything. Instead, read a book on your phone, scan the bar area to people watch or sit there minding your business. 50% of the time the person sitting next to you is going to stir up a conversation with you either about the activity you’re engaged in or an event happening in the bar.

Lookout for bars that also have trivia nights where you can easily join a group of people to compete for a prize. Although some people already come to trivia night with a group of people, the judge always place you with a team of people.

Be An Explorer

Do you like to go out for walks? Do so around your neighborhood and perhaps you’ll encounter an interesting person along the way. I usually go for walks around my neighborhood and sometimes come across people who want to talk, ask me a question or we see something weird happening down the street.

If you have a dog, take the dog on walks because they serve as great ice breakers when interacting with new people. I find going to dog parks one of the easier ways to meet people because dog owners love to talk about their pets and bond over them.

If you live near a beach, relax and soak up there. Join a nearby volleyball game or get a sun tan. If you take up a water based activity such as surfing or water boarding, most people conducting the same activity will want to get to know you.