How To Make Friends – FriendPC Friendship Guide

A major concern many followers of FriendPC has is how to make friends. Whether they want to make friends online or in person, both can serve as a challenge for people. As both a Virtual Friend and a partner for FriendPC, I have learned through personal experience the best methods to make friends.

When we grow up, one of the first things many of us discover is that it is difficult to make friends as an adult. We become distracted from work, families, adult responsibilities, and life. Today, meeting a good friend is difficult and often occurs through our careers, bars, or clubs.

I personally have a passion for hiking, yet never bothered looking for a community of hikers because I was shy and too nervous to speak to strangers. I thought it was creepy to randomly just approach other hikers and always kept to myself.

And you might have the same problems where you want to meet someone but don’t know how to go about it. You might have a passion for video games, but faced the problems of finding like minded people out there. Sure, you can talk to people in the gaming community, but it often doesn’t lead anywhere other than when you’re playing the game.

There’s no ideal solution to make a friend, but there are absolutely points that will lead you to making friends. One of the reasons I love sticking with FriendPC mission is that they want to help people who struggle speaking to other people and making new friends because they know how difficult it can be in today’s world.

Focus On A Proxy for Every Conversation

We get it. Speaking to anyone new can be challenging because you are figuring out what to say that won’t make them think you are weird or a freak. When I first engaged with a customer as a Virtual Friend, I immediately realized we had nothing in common. He was into sports, drinking, and partying and I was into books, hiking, and health. But I couldn’t allow that to ruin the friendship experience with my client. This is when I used a technique known as The Proxy.

The Proxy acts as the middleman whenever you’re engaging with someone. It puts a tool you both can instantly connect with without the need to focus on various life subjects.

When I spoke to my client, rather than speaking about his hobbies or my hobbies, I suggested we first play a fun texting game called, “20 Questions.” Most people probably know the rules to the game, but for those who don’t, it’s a classic texting game for people who enjoy guessing games. All you need to do is think of an object, for example, Wolves. Then your friend has 20 questions they can ask to whittle down the field.

What makes this work is rather than focusing on what to say to keep a person’s interest up, you are both focused on a mission to reach the prize. It does not matter what the prize. What matters is the journey. It’s how you interact with their answers, make funny or witty comments about them and learn the way they think.

That is why in most movies such as Shrek or any cop movie the two main characters start off annoyed by each other, but it is the journey that eventually makes them close.

Forming a true friendship is like an adventure two people must take. Friendship begins by talking, but instead of talking about the weather or what happened on the news, focus on an adventure you both can have that allows you both to team up to reach that goal. Options you can choose are card games, watching a TV show together, video games, or even working on a project.

For College Students

Although difficult to believe, the easiest time for an adult to make friends is during their time in college. When I initially went to college, I immediately really felt an unshakable fear because I didn’t know anyone, I had no friends, and I was facing a lot of new challenges on my own. One of them was simply finding my way around the campus.

But I quickly found convenience in the campus after discovering dozens of other people who shared similar interest to me. Back when I was 19, I was really into card games such as Magic the Gathering and Yugioh and found other students who played those games in the cafeteria almost all day. All it took for me to make friends was to sit at their table at lunch and take out the cards I collected and it created an immediate connection.

What makes college friendship the easiest out of the bunch to form is because it is not only the first time you are out in the world on your own, but you can spend time with people on your own accord without curfews or major restrictions. You surround yourself by people your age, similar background, and experience.

Even if you are in your prime years going back to college or college for the first time, you can still make friends by sharing your experience, finding like minded people in clubs and telling them what to look out for in the real world.

Between clubs, events, or simply speaking to the student sitting next to you in class, you have dozens of options to engage with people. And if you are shy from speaking to new people, use the Proxy Principal to interact with them.

For me, it was playing continuous card games with men and women that built a close relationship with them. For you, it might be drama club or the sports club that brings you together with a family of friends.

The Work Force

My friend, who I’m going to call Sherry to protect her identity, said something to me that really stuck with me while we were at the company’s holiday party. She said,

“It seems like today once you graduate from college, the only way to make friends is through work. I’ve dated, had one night stands, and made friends only with people I worked with. What’s funny is that it was really out of convenience versus actually feeling a connection with them.”

There is no denial that a majority of adults today make friends at work. It is hard not to after all. You spend 8+ hours with them, experience all of their quirks and at a certain point spend time with them more than your actual family.

Personally I avoid becoming friends with anyone at work due to complicated past issues and mistakes. But before I restricted myself, I dated, befriended and even made enemies with the people I worked with.

And something I learned is the best way to make friends with anyone from work is to be interested their life story and personal interests. You do not have to agree or like their interests, but at least accept who they are as a person and what they like to do on their off time.

One of the quickest ways to make enemies is to judge someone negatively for their personal interests.

This also doesn’t mean you should randomly walk around the office and ask people what their passions are because that can seem intimidating itself. After all, you would not want someone to randomly approach you for an interview because you do not know their intentions.

The best way I learned is through teamwork exercises and projects. Yes, I understand working on projects or work related problems with someone can seem annoying. But they are not worthless when you take advantage of the opportunity.

When you begin a new task or project with other people, you can relay small things you enjoy to do with bite-sized information. This gives them a preview of your life and who you are as a person. And the more they learn about you and your life outside of work, the more it will subconsciously persuade them to share their own personal life story with you.

It is human nature to give and receive. Especially if you demonstrated the taste of having an interest in them. If they give you one word responses, or stay clear of eye contact, they aren’t aiming to make a buddy today.

How to Make Friends as Adults

Let’s say you have no job, you didn’t go to college, or you are not in environment that surrounds you by like minded people. This makes the road to friendship difficult and unfortunately this is the path many accidentally find themselves in.

It becomes easier staying in the house rather than going out to meet people. The most common place to meet anyone is through bars or clubs if you are an adult. At least they are most advertised and socially accepted ways to meet friends as an adult. Personally, I do not enjoy the concept.

Soon after I moved to San Diego alone, I quickly discovered the obstacles of meeting adults with similar interests as me. I had no clue where to go and the only advice people would tell me was to meet people at bars and clubs.

Despite my introverted nature, I experimented with the social norm by visiting different bars and clubs, but it was an experience that did not satisfy me. I only did it out of obligation and the lust to meet someone who can understand me. But drinking every night, dancing at random clubs, flirting with more people than I keep count of, and dressing up was not exciting to me.

Such a wild lifestyle was actually a stressful experience. This was when I discovered there were programs like Meetup, that allowed you to meet like minded people who liked doing the same activities as me. Not only was my first Yoga Meetup experience wonderful, but I also went to Writing Groups, Hiking, and even Comedy shows. This allowed me to meet dozens of wonderful people who I still consider as friends today.

If the thought of partying and drinking does not fascinate you, I would strongly suggest finding groups from Meetup or other daytime social events because when you are with other people who enjoy performing the same activities as you, you learn how to make friends from those activities.

Most social experiences you achieve with someone else gives you the opportunity to form friendships that can last years or a lifestime. This means make a routine of going to a Meetup event, gaming conventions, improv shows, or anything that interests you.

To make a long story short, do not assume it is the location or circumstance you are stuck in that is preventing you from making friends. Whether you are in school, at work, or live in a city with other people, there will always be options.

And if you are in need for a Companion to accompany you to any social events, parties, or at a restaurant, FriendPC provides a list of compatible list of Virtual Friends to choose from to help you. If you would like to form events in the city you live in, FriendPC also offers Listing options to let you gather up like minded people to get together.