Why do I Have No Friends | FriendPC Guide to Make Friends

You may have asked yourself, “Why do I have no friends?” countless times even if you had current friendships. You might have had moments where you felt very lonely or misunderstood because you did not have a friend who was willing to give you time. You may even have friends but feel alone because they don’t treat you the way that you deserve.

Sometimes I even find it hard to be around people because I have always lacked the ability to understand social cues and can talk too much. It’s easy for me to get attached to people that will end up scaring them away. This makes it easier falling into the entrapment of toxic relationships.

An important rule I have learned about toxic relationships or friendships is that they’re only temporary emotional offerings. People make friends with toxic people because they are scared to be alone and need someone, despite good or bad, in their life.

The funny thing about people with a ton of friends online on social media is that most of them are fake friendships that represents nothing more than badges of false validation. We pretend having dozens or even hundreds like on our social media profiles as a positive remark of who we are. But in the end that’s how we trick ourselves into the loneliness pit.

Rather than connecting with someone and forming mutual authentic relationships where three is intimacy, empathy and connection, you create a spiral of fake relationships that does not go further than the surface.

But in the end, everyone who lives a false lifestyle always ends up realizing the sad fact, “I have no friends.”

Focus on Quality, not Quantity

Thanks to social media, it is easy to make the mistake of thinking more people in your life means more popularity. There is nothing wrong with having a lot of acquaintances in your life that you hang out with from time to time.

But you should only have a very small select of people of people that you genuinely care about. The difference between acquaintances and true friendships is that your friends make you a priority because you have meaning and value to them.

Keep in mind having a smaller circle of friends will always make your life easier and more enjoyable. Friendship is not a numbers game. It’s about enjoying someone without dealing with their toxic behavior. Because what really matters in a friendship is who you give your time and energy to. Every person you spend time with affects your thoughts, beliefs and actions.

The Power of Self-Acceptance

Part of the reason people form fake relationships/friendships is because they are acting in a way that they believe will get other people to like them. Whether it’s pretending to like sports, party, drink, or smoke, most people will throw aside their own enjoyments in exchange of being accepted by a large group of people.

There were short periods in my life where I made lots of friends who always wanted to get drunk, party, and act wild. Although those were never my true interests, I only participated in them be accepted by others. I was insecure and only wanted a friend to keep me company.

Once you start enjoying your own company, you will start to attract others to you because our personalities are like a unique smell that will always find an audience. Once you accept yourself, your strange habits, and the hobbies you enjoy you become comfortable with being truly authentic with other people.

Despite the amount of “friends” I have had in my life, there are only a handful of contacts who I can say truly cared about such as I did for them. And those are the type of people you should aim to bring into your life.

The Dangers of Loneliness

For me, part of my loneliness came from it being hard to start a conversation. Especially if I was caught off guard because I was afraid of giving a bad first impression. But I was also to blame for my loneliness too because I didn’t know how to engage with people or ask them to hang out with me. I found friendships hard to maintain because I struggled to make time for friends. I didn’t want to party, drink or be reckless anymore.

Maybe you are like that too. Maybe it takes a lot of courage just to say hi to someone because you overthink the situation. Maybe you struggle to leave the house because you don’t want to face the outside world.

I can continue on with possible reasons why you’re alone, but to fight loneliness, the first step is to not to be afraid to make yourself vulnerable. You have to throw away wondering about what someone intention is when they’re speaking to you.

You have not be overly suspicious of who they are, what the conversation would be like or how you sound like. Thinking that way is overwhelming because it stops you from simply introducing yourself to someone.

If possible, ask someone already listed in your phone out for a cup of coffee or an activity that takes you both out the house. Show someone in your phone contact list that you are thinking about them because it’s easy to assume everyone but us has a happy life filled with friends.

Why your Friendships Don’t “Stick”

Perhaps you do make an effort to make friends but whenever you do, you never receive the result that you wanted. If you struggle to have close reciprocal relationships with friends, here are a few pointers to keep in mind:

Lack of Experience – Regardless of age, some people lack the ability to make or maintain friendships. This is why it’s important not to bring yourself unrealistic expectations. Instead of having an image in your mind of what constitutes as a perfect friendship, go with the flow and enjoy your experiences with them. No relationship is perfect and people will make mistakes.

Insecurity – Nothing makes a relationship of any kind sink faster when you’re continuously questioning if you are good enough for them. Never feel like you need to measure up to someone you want as your friend. Friendship comes as an acceptance on both ends and can trust each other. If you are insecure about yourself, you eventually become insecure your relationship. If you are uncomfortable with people knowing the real you, learn to accept yourself through small acts of personal gratitude. Be proud of your weird quirks, your personal accomplishments and your accomplished past goals.

Temperament – It is understandable to be shy around others. However, show it too often and it can make people feel uncomfortable around you too because they will easily assume you think you are better than them.

Situational Hurdles – If you live in an area where it is difficult to connect with others, then learn to take advantage of the internet by finding online groups that you connect with.

Go on social building platforms such as Meetup or even FriendPC Event Friend Finder. Although uncomfortable, do not shun the idea of befriending someone who may not be in your preference circle if they are close enough or not toxic for your lifestyle. Sometimes having a friend who occasionally make us uncomfortable is better for our growth.

Do You Need Friends to Make Friends?

Some people believe you need friends to make friends and for some individuals this works. That is why FriendPC offers people to Book a Friend to take them places so they can meet more people together. You don’t have to hide the fact you don’t have any friends when introducing yourself to someone. You don’t have to worry about someone believing you’re defective because you have no friends even though that fact is not true at all.

But having no friends does not mean you’re broken or defective. It simply means you have some weak spots to work on such as any other thing you may be missing in your life. A variety of people goes through periods in their life where they had no one to hang out with. Your value or worth is not determined by the number of friends you have because any jerk can have a large circle of conceited friends. After all, lots of good people have been lonely.

Most people are usually lonely because they either lack the knowledge to make new friends, too shy or socially anxious, or they don’t mind being alone and don’t have much motivation to go and meet people. The list can go on, but the results still stay on people still thinking others will have a negative reaction when they discover they don’t have any friends.

This statement is not true though.

Some people may judge you for it, but most people won’t care because they will likely be in the same situation themselves. Do not assume people are really harsh, judgmental and choosy about how people backgrounds should be. Most people are understanding because they know people are shy or don’t know how to make friends. They may even struggle with this themselves.

For introverts, they may not be naturally social and only prefer to have a handful of friends, which can sometimes slip into having none at all. For Extroverts, perhaps their life is so busy that they accidentally lose track of all of their close friends and eventually only have a list of acquaintances with them.

To keep it short, what people think of you is determined by how you interact with them that moment, not the on-paper information they have about you. If you generally come across as a likable an decent person, people won’t care that much if they find out you don’t have friends. How you are as a person carries more weight than any idea they have about “friendless people.”